I don’t know what’s happening to me.
My legs are shaking furiously, as I have no control over them, as well as my hands and arms, although I can’t really tell if it’s the shaking that brings immense pain to my head, or my body moving as I step closer and closer to where I’m going. “Where am I going?” I try and mummer to myself, yet it only comes out in a series of stammering and mummering, close to what an “insane” person would say. And I, of all people, am not mad, but the only sane being in this damned world. Even though the world around me is tilting and shifting in every color imaginable and more every time my foot hits the ground, I am still me; I am still the same writer as I was the day before, and the day before that. I don’t remember much else before that, as most of the past is a blur now, but we live in the present, and that’s all that matters. In fact, isn’t even a complete blur, as there is still one face I remember vividly. Her face, making me snarl in repugnance and cry tears of pure relief and joy at the thought, was one I did not want to ever remember, yet at the same time, one I never want to forget. Her face is why I’m here, but at the same time, not; her face is the only thing I live for now, in the name of vengeance; her face is, ironically, the only thing I would willingly die for. Those passionate, auburn eyes, always staring at me in the most peculiar way, the fire beneath her eyes always fading yet never leaving; the light behind her eyes always dimming yet never dark. That warm, peachy color always reminding me of our Summers spent together under the crystal stars, waiting for the sun to come up, but at the same time wishing it never would. Oh, and her hair was the most magnificent thing, complimenting her eyes so and making her face all the more bright and jubilant, the golden locks of pure sun practically dripping down her sides and down to her waist. The color itself brought me back to a blissful time, of when I was but a young child, not knowing the real audacity of this prudent world, only knowing the smiles on faces and the laughs ringing throughout the cozy house I used to call “home.” Even the contrast between her snow-white skin and puffed cherry lips made me smile and forget all of my worries; fears, if you will.
Yet, her face is the reason I’m lost today. I don’t know where I am anymore, or where I’m going, I just know that I need to find her; to seek vengeance upon her or to forgive her, I haven’t an idea in the slightest. All I know is that one day, one day I come home to find her lying on the floor, and the next, she’s gone with the wind, off to find a newer, better life without someone such as myself dragging her down. Just excess weight is all that I am, dragging her down every step I take closer to her brilliance, closer to finding her once and for all, for bad or for good whatever it may be.
The road, by now, has shifted from an elegant shade of deep opal, to a dark emerald so dark it almost is procured as black, to a crimson-violet color of sorts, almost burgundy but nevertheless, not, in the short period of less than four seconds. It’s bland grayness is gone for good so it seems, replaced with all of these brilliant colors shining and changing and mixing in an almost surreal way. Frankly, this would be quite alarming to any other being, but I find it amazing; the choppy, irregular movements of the road beneath my feet, growing closer and closer, nearer and nearer, the road now inches from---
BAM! My head starts to pound with unspeakable, indescribable pain, causing my voice to cry out without me willing it to, or even me asking it to. My arm feels numb with neverending pain, and I can practically see the blood welling out beneath me out onto the dull road under me. I can feel my head screaming out and clawing at any straws of “calm” left in my muddled mind; I can hear my heart pounding all the way up in my head and all the way down in my feet; I can see my life flashing before my eyes, the end of all my life’s work being shoved down the drain all in one moment, one instance. I can’t let it all go now, I need to find her…
I need to find her before it’s too late.