DISAPPEARED

July 16, 2011
Chapter one: Dieing

“Get over there! What do you mean no you little rat!” a women with short red hair and ugly mud brown eyes screamed at me.
I ran over to the dark shadowy corner crying quietly to myself.
“If you ever say no to me again I will personally shred you up!” screeched the women again in my face, I could smell her horrible rotten breath caressing my face.
Let me tell you about myself. My life, is like living in Africa. All the fighting, drugs, and abuse.
My name is Jane Cane. I have long dark brown hair that is curly at the bottom. I have sparkling turquoise eyes and tan skin.
All my life, I have been abused and experimented on just for fun by my parents.
The reason why, my abusive mom had been yelling at me was because, my little sister, Maggie Cane.
Maggie, was a strong and naive. She was always so brave in all of this mess. I was very proud of her.
Maggie, had kicked our dad in the shin for taking away her favorite stuffed bear, named Bowie Bow.
Now I stood in front of Maggie, ready to protect her from the punishment that was to be executed.
My mom yelled at me to move out of the way. I screamed no at her so hard I think the house shook.
She ripped me away from Maggie and threw me into the corner. And that’s were we left off. . .
“Well, let’s see what were going to do with you” my mom said walking around in circles, my sister in the middle.
“Whatever punishment your going to give me, I will not say sorry for what you have done to me and my sister! You deserve it!” Maggie yelled at mom furiously her light brown waves of hair every where and her blue eyes glaring.
I looked at my little sister. She was only ten. Only ten, and she was being so brave. While me, the fourteen year old, hides behind a corner and sobs like a baby.
I felt like dieing. . .

Chapter two: Finding Reality

I got up off the dark damp carpet, and tried to wipe all the streaks of dirt off my face, only to smear more on.
I looked at my sister and then to my harassing mother. If my little sister can be brave, so can I.
I walked over to my mom and taped her on the shoulder. . . hard.
“OW! You little rat! What do you want!” screamed mom.
“No” I said steadily.
“No what, you little mutant!” she shrieked again.
“No, I will not let you harm me and my sister any more!” I yelled back at her staring her straight in her mud brown eyes.
“Oh, you said no huh? Well, I guess you belong with your ugly little rat of a sister huh!” bellowed mom.
She pulled me by my tattered clothing then grabbed my ear and dragged me to my sister.
My ear throbbed and felt like it was going to fall off any time.
I took my sisters dirty little hand and held it.
“On the count of three, I want you to run out of the patio door and climb down the stair and hid in the ally” I whispered to Maggie.
“All distract mom and get supplies and Bowie Bow OK?” I whispered to Maggie again.
“I want to help!” shrieked Maggie quietly.
“You are helping, by getting to safety” I replied to Maggie.
I was finally out of the hole of despair and into reality. . . we were finally going to make a break for it. . .

Chapter three: Anywhere to run, know where to hide

“Um, what are you exactly going to do to us? I asked trying to stall her.
I then saw Maggie sneaking towards the patio door and climbing out the small square door to safety.


When I finally couldn’t see Maggie I started my plan.
“Well, I don’t think you will be hurting me and my sister any more” I said strongly.
“What-” my horrible mother didn’t get to finish.
I kicked her hard in the shin, and heard the crack. Before I could enjoy her pain I ran up the old creaking stairs to get the stuffed bear and some belongs.
I filled a large red polka-dotted backpack with two tooth brushes, one brush, four blankets, five books, two small pillows, and some make-up.
I then took Maggie’s backpack and filled it with some cloths, some food I stocked up in my room, a couple of water bottles and containers, my ipod, Maggie’s other stuffed animals and some of her favorite toy, the keys to my dads golf cart at work and my favorite necklace and bracelet.
He had been looking for the keys for the past week. I had stolen them in case of I needed to ‘borrow” the golf cart.
I then ran into moms and dads room and stole there wallets. This was going to be fun. . .
I then heard the creaking of the stairs and I knew that I had to escape now before our my mom would catch me.
I ran to the window and opened it up and climbed outside.
I quickly climbed down the black metal steep stairs to meet Maggie huddled behind a smelly trash can.





Join the Discussion

This article has 24 comments. Post your own now!

BloglessBlogger said...
May 29, 2012 at 4:23 pm
Please turn this into a novel. It is very sad and needs to be brought to the spotlight.
 
FreeBeThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Jun. 3, 2012 at 4:10 pm
I will! And I do hope you liked it. It's suppose to be really sad.
 
MaxRide said...
Mar. 7, 2012 at 7:41 pm
Hey it's me Max.  I love your work, I think I have told you that like 9 times, and I really liek this story!
 
MaxRide replied...
Mar. 7, 2012 at 7:42 pm
PS: you need to add more please!
 
Winged.Living.Free.This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Mar. 8, 2012 at 2:38 pm
awww! Thank you! I'm so glad you like it! And I will add more, I have A LOT of stories that I'm writing and a HUGE storm of ideas! Love your work too! :)(:
 
CountryPopGirl said...
Feb. 26, 2012 at 6:16 pm
This was a good short story! ;)
 
Winged.Living.Free.This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Feb. 27, 2012 at 2:04 pm
thank you soo much!!! :)(:
 
CountryPopGirl replied...
Feb. 27, 2012 at 4:56 pm

just one question.

Why do you do :)(: at the end of every post? Just curious.

 
Winged.Living.Free.This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Feb. 28, 2012 at 3:18 pm
It's my thing. Something for everyone to remember me by! I was hoping someone would notice! :)(:
 
Winged.Living.Free.This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Feb. 26, 2012 at 2:12 pm
Please comment :)(:
 
Malrox21213This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Aug. 15, 2011 at 6:53 pm
oh and my new user name is now: Malrox21213 instead of: writerfreak21231.
 
jellotinisjiggly24This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Aug. 17, 2011 at 3:56 pm
actually now it is: jellotinisjiggly24 
 
CarrieAnn13 said...
Aug. 13, 2011 at 6:39 pm

This is interesting, but there are some things that take away from the quality of the writing.

1.  Your grammar.  You misuse words a lot.  'Your' instead of 'you're', 'All' instead of 'I'll'.  It's really distracting.

2.  You don't have enough detail.  Try using some more description.

 
writerfreak21231This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Aug. 13, 2011 at 7:07 pm
thank you for the feedback and thanks for reading! :)(:
 
writerfreak21231This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Aug. 11, 2011 at 6:33 pm
If u guys likd this story check out my novels: Alien invasio series book one: the caller or THE BEAST. :)(:
 
DifferentTeen said...
Jul. 29, 2011 at 2:27 pm
I loved this! It was just great, I was so interested the entire time. At first I wasn't sure but it was simply amazing! I'm not sure why, but it kind of reminded my of my piece The Incident,. Check it out if you want.
 
writerfreak21231This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Jul. 30, 2011 at 9:47 am
thanks and i will check out ur piece!!! thanks for reading! :)(:
 
HaleyStar said...
Jul. 21, 2011 at 8:06 pm

Loved your diction. Word choice is always important in a manuscript. My favorite word was 'screeched', I never think to use that word.

 

 
writerfreak21231This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Jul. 21, 2011 at 8:42 pm
thanks! I try to use descriptive words when i write! :)(:
 
awesome.sauce23 said...
Jul. 21, 2011 at 11:41 am
i liked the plot aot but i think that ur writting is a bit underdevoloped but keep on writing;)
 
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