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Shoes

Okay so one day, I went to the mall, I really wanted to buy these shoes but they were we're like 1,294 dollars so I went around the corner to Quick cash (ya know that chinese cash place where they give out free money?) ya, that one. Anyway, I got there and they said if I spun in a circle 7 and a half times then I could get 1,000 bucks. Problem was, I was still short 294 dollars! I told them that and they told me in a weird chinese accent: "What? Do you think that we just hand out money like they're chopsticks?!?! No! Get out of here you crazy American!!" So they got mad and litterally kicked me out of the place. Sure, my feelings were a little hurt, but hey, I wasn't going to let it ruin my day. So I proceeded on my quest for money. After that I was REALLY hungry so I stopped by a local market to buy something to cook up and eat. It wasn't long before I realized that I'd left my wallet at my house. So I walked about 8 and a quarter miles before I reached my house. I got into my room and started looking for my wallet when I glanced out the window and saw a dinosaur in my swimming pool!!! It was purple with green spots and immediatly I thought "Barney!" so I went to go hug it but it said it was his evil twin Frank who recently escaped DinoJail. I ran inside my house, grabbed my umbrella, and ran back to the mall. At this point I was STILL hungry and was wondering why I took an umbrella so I gave it to a woman on the corner and she gave me like 300 dollars for it. I was confused why she would pay so much for an umbrella but hey, if she's going to pay 300 dollars, why bother asking?? As I was putting the money in my back pocket I saw her point the umbrella at the ground and before I knew it, there was about one million dollars on the ground that appeared out of nowhere and then she shot off into the sky. I thought: "Aww shoot!! I could've done that!" So I ran around in a circle for no reason screaming like a little kid for about 12 hours straight. After that I went home and shivered all night in my bed because my heater broke. The next day I went over to a bagel shop, ordered a decaf mocha and half of a blueberry bagel with strawberry cream cheese. After that I went to a local casino where I played "The Game" and won about 900 dollars. It was then that I realized I was STILL short 94 bucks!! So I went back to Quick Cash and they threw lobsters at me. It wasn't a total loss though! I gathered up all the lobsters they chucked at me and sold each one for 1 dollar and after 5 hours, I got 94 dollars!!! I was so excited I ran to the mall, into the store where they had the shoes that I wanted to buy and couldn't find them anywhere. I asked the woman at the counter if she had seen them she said no. I asked pretty much everyone I could see. Finally I asked this 8 year old boy if he had seen them and he said: "Yes, that elf over there just bought the very last pair" I looked over to the elf the boy was pointing at and saw an elf walking out of the store WEARING THE SHOES!!! Ugghhh, such a frustrating week....




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