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The Watering Hole

It's their secret and they won't tell anybody else. Until they leave on Thursday. That's when they'll tell my brother the secret and then he'll tell me. 4 houses down lives Mark, Lauren and Ryan Richardson. Mark's a lot older than me and the other two are younger. Them and my neighbors from next door Joseph, Julia and Jeff Geving have a secret place. It's hidden somewhere in our neighborhood. No one knows where it is except them. Now that Mark, Lauren and Ryan are moving the Gevings are going to need someone else to go to the secret place with. They'll tell my brother because he's their second best friend.

We went to the secret place for the first time. The Gevings call it the watering hole. That's because there is this mini lake like the ones animals in the jungle use for water. In plain sight the watering hole is disguised as trees and beautiful scenery for people to look at when they are jogging and walking their dogs on the bike path. If you go closer, down into the tangled vines and weeds there is an arch. This arch is like a doorway into a different universe. A place where imagination can run wild. Once you cross through the arch there is a narrow pathway. A dirt trail clear with no plants. Trees grow up against the path like a tunnel.

Walk a little further down the pathway and there will be a huge tree as big as a grandfather clock. It grows right in the middle of the pathway. Spray painted in cherry red on the tree are the words, “up here come.” Then on the side of the tree are nails as big as my foot. The Gevings told us they are there so that we can climb up the tree. I was afraid to climb it,but the others weren't.

There's a big piece of wood up there that you can sit on, they said.

There was also random writing about fish written on the wooden board with pen. We must not be the only ones who know about this place. Past the tree is a ditch filled with blocks of wood of all different sizes. They call it the junk yard. Past the junk yard is a bridge someone must have hand made one time out of wood from the junk yard. The bridge leads us across a small narrow river filled with mini tadpoles and fish. It can't hold more than two people at a time so we had to take turns crossing.

We explored on to see more until it happened. Cheep. Squawk. And a noise like scraping metal. That's when we saw the houses that lay at the end of the trail. Through the window we saw him. A shadowed figure. Spying. Looking. Spying. Looking. And at who? As our faces turned white like a ghosts we decided not to stay and find out. We screamed, running all the way. Through the arch. Jumping onto our bikes like a rodeo rider does to his bull. Zoom. Hurry. Zoom. Hurry. Finally we make it home and sigh with relief. That's the last time we would ever go to the watering hole.





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This article has 27 comments. Post your own now!

Mgymnast This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Jan. 14, 2011 at 11:01 pm
Hey guys i posted another story similar to this called My Second Home (which is published on this website) Feel free to check it out and comment and rate it!
 
PerfectMGymnast This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Mar. 26, 2011 at 11:33 pm
And i posted a longer revised version of this article!!! :) Thank you all for all the feedback!!
 
Kiyokazu said...
Jan. 4, 2011 at 10:36 am
i love this i really good work
 
Mgymnast This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Jan. 6, 2011 at 11:35 pm
THANK YOU!
 
Ellawind said...
Jan. 3, 2011 at 11:03 pm
Ooo, I really like the descriptions you used for this place! It's unique, although it sort of reminds me of Bridge to Terabithia (the book). The beginning is a little confusing, but other than that it's really interesting. I actually like it a lot. Keep writing!
 
Mgymnast This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Jan. 6, 2011 at 11:38 pm
That's funny i never thought about it before, but it kind of does! I wrote this from a real experience tho! :)
 
stubborn411 said...
Jan. 2, 2011 at 11:05 pm
It is beautiful how discriptive youare in this piece. I could fully see the tunnel and the tree and the junk yard. Everything was so vivd. Very nice
 
Mgymnast This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Jan. 6, 2011 at 11:37 pm
Thanks! I love to describe things so that when you read it it feels like you're there!
 
hawksblack86 said...
Jan. 2, 2011 at 3:06 pm
Wow! This is good! I'm surprised it hasn't been published in the magazine yet! You were so descriptive and you had excellent word choice and used good verb choices!! I enjoyed reading this and can't wait to read more of your work!!! I rated this a 5/5 stars!! Great Job! d:)
 
Mgymnast This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Jan. 6, 2011 at 11:36 pm
THANKS! i'm glad you enjoyed it!:):)
 
Katie-Lynn said...
Jan. 1, 2011 at 11:47 pm
I liked it, it flowed very well. You might try and make the piece longer, other than that it was a good piece of writing
 
Mgymnast This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Jan. 2, 2011 at 2:48 am
It's funny usually i write too much, but with this short story i need to write more!! :) ;) Thanks for commenting!
 
PerfectMGymnast This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Mar. 26, 2011 at 11:35 pm
and i wrote a revised longer version if you'd like to take a look at it!! :)
 
GemValley250This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Jan. 1, 2011 at 1:53 pm
This was good, but I do think a bit more detail and making it longer could have went a long way. You've got a good storyline going:)
 
Mgymnast This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Jan. 2, 2011 at 2:49 am
THANKS! I'll do that! I'll try to expand on my story more! :) :)
 
PerfectMGymnast This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Mar. 26, 2011 at 11:36 pm
i added more detail and made it longer if you'd like to look at it! it's called The Watering Hole (Revised Version) :)
 
Navi-Talmid-Shel-Seraphim said...
Dec. 31, 2010 at 10:30 pm
This is very good for a story. Good job!
 
Mgymnast This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Jan. 2, 2011 at 2:50 am
Thanks i appreciate the positive comment! :):)
 
theheartoflizz said...
Dec. 31, 2010 at 5:10 pm

I really liked this. It's well thought out and very descriptive.

The only thing I can say is maybe add some dialogue. That might add a little bit more to this.

But great job, keep up the good work! :)

 
Mgymnast This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Jan. 2, 2011 at 2:51 am
That's a great idea! THANKS! :):)
 
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