I never joined the FBI to help out get criminals or to help America to be more crime free. I joined for entertainment. Even though that might sound sick it may be or it may not, depends on who you are. I go for the thrill, I go for the feeling of adrenaline or even exhaustion. I like the sound of bullets whizzing past me and I know I have nothing to lose. I am living life unlike any other teenager. Everywhere I go I look up at the city buildings looking for a possible firing range, even when I am not working. I can be many different things. I can be a drug dealer, a prostitute, or a spy. I am not an agent, I am an actress. If American people knew what I really am and what I do as a young adult they would be raged but I like my secrets. Even my boss doesn’t know the things I know. And sometimes I let people go because I can see in their eyes a past of torture and hurt. Every time I pull out a gun in someone’s face I always see one of three expressions. Number one, I dare you shoot me. I like these people they realize that everything on earth is temporally except you’re after life. Number two, fear. Fear is like a gripping ice cube stuck to your tongue. But there are many different fears. What if I am caught fear? Innocent fear, and hopeless fear. You will never meet someone like me. and when I do go to school the kids tease me but that’s when I smile and laugh a little because maybe in months I will see them again in court. Only then they will know but could never speak of it. Not because they would be in jail or died, because we all know that if they speak what will happen. I may seem like a flower but really I am the bee.
November 14, 2009