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Attack of The Chimps 4 (le Grande Finale)
“Retreat and regroup men and chimps.” sighed Jake after an embarrassing defeat at Bush’s fortress. Their misson had ended in complete failure. “Goodie, goodie!” Thought Jared, king of all the Chimps. “We go follow the sheep and Bush shoots us, zaps us and spanks us. We need allies, that’s for sure.”
Later at a council meeting, Rachel, the treaty chimp, volunteered to make peace with strong civilization to aid them on the war against Bush. It was in the course of a month that Rachel hiked, climbed, and endured… what? You don’t think a rich council member would do that? Fine, she actually took a luxury jet to wherever she wanted. Now back to the cool part. At the end of her, quote, perilous journey, she arrived with the commanders (during this description, play fighting video game music in your head).
Hannah, the captain of the penguin armada. Cody no-one-can-pronounce-his last name the commander of the Killer Koalas. Finally, Ricky and his army of UVHL’s (uncanny vegetarian hippie lions). Back at the chimp base, an army meeting was held. “We’ve, like, gotta defeat Bush, dude.” said Ricky. That was the opening. Then everyone started talking about his or her plans. That was at that moment that a hole blew up in the ceiling and one of Bushes allies stormed in. “AAAAAH!” shrieked Hannah. “Furbies!” As Maria and her Furbies closed in, Cody called to his troops. They ran in and the battle began.
Cody and his troops covered as the remaining commanders went to get their armies. It was a difficult battle, fur and feathers flew. It became one sided when the rest of the allies showed up. ”I have a bad feeling…” muttered Cody. As if he was psychic, all of Bush’s forces burst in.
Well, almost all of them. Apparently the sheep were off fighting some poultry. Anyhow, Bush had some new recruits also. He had obtained Becky and Mark, leaders of the beets and clowns.
“Like, ahhhhh!” yelled the bewildered Ricky, running away from the clowns
“What was that about?” asked Cody.
“I have no idea.” Said Kyle
The fight lasted a long, long time. A barrage of potatoes, jellybeans, cream pies, peace signs, and other miscellaneous items flew everywhere. Meanwhile Ricky sat cowering in a corner muttering about clowns. The battle stopped as an old lady crossed the battlefield. 5…4…3…2…1… GOOOOOO! The side blasted battle cries to each other and charged. Than, although he was thought to be dead, Owen, the samurai chimp, burst into the battle! Aided with Owen and his allies, the tide of the battle was turned.
When the battle ended, Jared greeted Owen with joy. Owen had many fighters and inventors on his side. They had created a plan for a powerful robot. To build it would be a difficult process, but it would help. After that, they went to their bunks. All the lions moved out of their rooms because Ricky was insistent on chanting “Can’t sleep, clowns will eat me… Can’t sleep, clowns will eat me…” a practically infinite number of times.
A week or two later, a fight was won by Bush. Than the obsessed Ricky broke out of his trance and discovered the subtle, yet ultimate weapon. The… dun, dun, dun… SPORK! They would need a deception to keep Bush from discovering their weapon. They never succeeded in doing that, however. The Spork was starkly white, Yet it immobilized on the touch. Bush’s spy cam that he planted at chimp base didn’t know the second part of its power, and the Spork made Bush have a heart attack from laughing so hard. He survived.
Then the inventors finished “The Scavenger”. It was actually a predator. It could fire Spork cannons, It could fire Spork machine guns, it could lift a tank, had extendible arms that could catch a plane, seated 15, and could plow relentlessly through poorly written run-on sentences. It could also make tie-dye shirts.
The battle of the century was about to take place. As they readied “The Scavenger” It self-destructed and could not be used. “Dang!” shouted Jared. And believe it or don’t, that was the order to deploy all forces. The battle began.
Now in that brief period, The battle started. The two sides gave it all they got. It was actually a universal fight. That poultry that the sheep were fighting came as did the sheep. Some survivors said they saw Link, and some Luigi. Mario was there for a fact, because he signed in at the guest desk. Donkey Kong was there, and so was Bowser. Bowser sided with who ever was winning. In other words…
Complete and total Chaos!
It was a sight to see. Big fists, cheese, arrows, potatoes, and other projectiles that may or may not relate to this story flew everywhere. Than, all of a sudden, a pink flying puffball was gliding towards the mass of people, funny Italian men, primates, ect., ect. It was an elastic, 7 inch tall piece of puff. A.K.A. a guy named Kirby. He stretched and stretched and stretched and… well you get the point. Anyhow, he sucked up the world and every thing with it. Bon Voyage, Chimpanzees?.
THE END (of the world. Bwahahahahahahahahahahahaha… cough cough cough wheeze boom)