This rollercoaster we call life

April 5, 2012
By , Princeton, MA
Of course it is true; Everyone has experienced it, everyone has lived it. The unfortunate truth is, I have always hated rollercoasters. The fortunate truth is, the great thing about roller coasters, is that there is always a seat next to me; a seat for my sister, Abby.
The first time I rode a rollercoaster it was my dad next to me. As soon as the bar locked us in, my face felt hot, and tears began to pool in the corners of my eyes, and roll down my cheeks. As we jerked to a start my vision was completely blurred. Our car began the slow suicide mission up the first hill I was heaving, with sounds like hiccups escaping my chest. The mother sitting behind us, with her son year younger then me put her hand on my shoulder wanting to help, but she could not. As soon as it stopped I ran with my tear- stricken face back to my mom. Abby was there too, and laughed. It is something no one else would have done. But she laughed, and told me I was stupid. I laughed too.
When she sang at her middle school graduation it was the most beautiful thing I had ever heard. I cried because I was so proud of her. She used to be so shy, but now she was on stage belting out notes I had never heard her hit before.
When our parents divorced, Abby and I sat and cried, and buried our faces in our pillows. But we got through it. Freshman year was tough. I was battling swimming everyday, school, my dad was gone, and my mom was there, but not at the same time. I got so sick of the same routine, that I started to hurt myself. But Abby knew, and she told me, and she told me again that I was being stupid. Because, I can not hide anything from her, because she is on this ride with me, right next to me.

Which is why, today, for one of the first time, it has to be me to tell her that she is being stupid. Because, she is slipping away, but I cannot let her, because, selfishly, that would mean I would have to go this alone. I know what is happening though, I read her journal. She was calling herself fat for eating more than 500 calories, her goal. But I went through it too. It is her freshman year, now. Because we are on the same ride, just with a different view; a different perspective; we are different people. Which is why, I know to get back to the top, she needs help. Just like roller coaster cars fall freely, but rely on a metal chain to pull them back up.

I love Abby so much. She is my sister, and she is the best, most courageous, funniest, closest to perfect person I have ever met. Now, I love rollercoasters. I do not know why, but I think it is because the thrill rather than the fall is what I think more about now.

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CrystalAngelDol said...
May 20, 2012 at 1:24 pm
one word- awesome! keep it up, i hate rollercoasters too and i dont think i have as much courage as you to ride it, and i know you were sayin it metaphorically but still.....=).....
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