The High School Experience

It is well known that being a teenager is difficult, and being a teenager in high school is even more challenging. Now combine the difficulties of being a teenager in high school with being overweight and you’ve created for yourself the recipe for disaster. Usually you hear about the bullying that teenagers endure throughout their high school experience, yet those stories and happenings disappear over time. They aren’t really spoken about much after the fact or even brought up. Did you know though that some of the bullying that goes on can lingers inside your soul, memory, and everyday life, haunting you forever? That one memory can spark an array of emotions from the one-day in that one lunchroom on October 12th when you were called FAT in front of those seven people.


Normally in movies there’s two people, the person bullying and the person being bullied. The person being bullied usually closes themselves off from the outside world, they want to be left alone and don’t want to interact or become involved with the bully, the reason for this is that they know more pain could be directed their way if they stand up for themselves. This one bully has the tongue of a serpent. Why would they want to get themselves embarrassed another time? They are quiet and try to ignore the bully, yet the bully somehow always manages to rise above and control their feelings due to the words they use to hurt them. The movie is coming to an end now, miraculously the one who was being bullied has risen above and figured out a way to triumphantly defeat the bully, and all ends well. The bullied has become brave and happy and then the credits roll. Unfortunately real life doesn’t roll that way, its much more severe and damaging.

Being overweight brings many things amongst tear and unhappiness. There this “thin” person dying to be let out and accomplish things a “thin” person does. Wait though, what is this “thin” that is spoken about? This “thin” is the person who can fit into any article of clothing without hassle. One of the difficulties with being overweight is that you do not fit into most of the things you want, you wish to portray this style inside and want to share with the world your artistic point of view through fashion because its a silent statement, nevertheless, that can't even be accomplished because nothing fits you. The frustration is unbearable and honestly unspeakable, this is a scenario where if you haven’t gone through it yourself, you honestly can’t say, “I know”.

Being in large groups is another pressure for the overweight teenage girl, tons of questions ponder through her mind. What is everyone thinking about me? Fat girl or nice girl? Or nice fat girl? Never being calling by your name always referred to as she or her; realistically because no one remembers ugly, only “hot”. Once in a blue moon though you will be called a name, a name that isn’t yours and a name that isn’t hurtful, its wonderful because for that slight moment you think they actually remembered you, but they have just called you the name of another girl, a girl that is also overweight.

Active? You become fatigued at the slightest motions, why even attempt sports if you know it’s an automatic fail. There’s no point. You have tried before but it’s always ended up with the dissatisfaction you bring to yourself because you are naturally not good enough for being active.

This bullying that is spoke of will never end. This “fat” has now become apart of the daily wardrobe you present to others; your shirt, pants, shoes, makeup and fat, it’s just another accessory added on. Don’t like it? That’s unfortunate, welcome to the club.

The first time someone says it to you or refers to you as it, this emotion of death passes over you, as if a loved one is lost for forever. I still to this day can't express or even try to explain this feeling, its empty, lonely and scary. You are no longer a regular person you are now a person with a label, a label that has complete control over how you will behave, dress, talk and think. You feel as if you are socially unaccepted. Some would never think that this word could have such an impact on the way a person feels, nonetheless, this one word has the ability to dictate a person as if it can control everything and anything within that person, and you the bully are to blame for that. Did you ever think about the aftermath that occurs when you call someone fat? That someone could feel all these horrible things at once from a three-lettered adjective? The three-lettered adjective you had provided them with? That there entire day could be ruined just from the mere memory of when you had called them fat in that certain lunch room on October 12th 2010, when that same feeling they received that day can pop up at any time and haunt them for hours on end until they feel so disgusted and sick and embarrassed of themselves that all they want to do is be silent and away from the world until they feel human and lifelike again? I can guarantee you had no idea the disgusting impact you had on them.

Born this way is the one and only quote that explains myself positively. I am proud to be able to understand and take to heart what this quote means. Lady Gaga has provided me with an outlet, an outlet where I am not alone with these feelings. Supplies this whole other world, this entire new generation and race. A race that bears no prejudice, no judgment and boundless freedom. This world is where her little monsters congregate and share their stories and feelings and help others. We protect one another and encourage life into some, stopping the self-harm that may be inflicted to someone. Born this way provides a safe place for the freaks and underdogs and the bullied. She has inspired me to love myself and to be proud of the person I am today. The people who are less fortunate in the social society; the girls who are considered gross, not pretty and unattractive; the boys who don’t get girls, who aren't muscularly, photo shopped and charming. This three-worded phrase was able to turn that three-lettered word for me into nothing, bust dust. I say this to myself everyday, look straight into the mirror and realize I am not perfect, however I was born this way, and I'm beautiful to myself. There is guaranteed to be the population that doesn’t see it and I am comfortable with that because I see it and that’s all the matters. I finally fully love and respect myself. I will now and forever stay true to mysef and will never underestimate who I can be as a person or try to hide who I am from the world. Simply because I am who I am, amazing and strong willed, open-minded and concerned, thoughtful and scared, as are many. Mostly however I am a person, a person with the same feelings as you and anyone else who has been hurt has. I no longer have a label; I have erased it from my memory and started fresh. I have risen above my insecurities, embraced them and I am now proud to glorify them for everyone to see. I am stronger emotionally and realize that three letter word means as much as dirt in the ground, nothing. The imperfection we all embrace as a society has finally meant something to me and has become perfect, I respect the fact that there will be bullies in my life and everyone else’s. The only thing to do though is never let that one person who is miserable inside for their own reasons drag you down with them. You may listen to what they say and ignore it, or you can listen and respond by shocking them, offering the help they most likely need, love.

I was a teenage girl that was overweight and had self esteem issues. I have been bullied and I want to share the depth of what happens after the bully has spoken. How the quote Born this way has impacted me to become a better person from the experience and realize that everyone was born his or her own way, not matter what in the end we are all beautiful and human. I also wanted to share about how the bully is now silenced and whatever might be said from them won’t be heard however, helped.





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This article has 3 comments. Post your own now!

Tyler said...
Feb. 8, 2016 at 6:22 pm
This is so passionate, Nate. Great job!
 
More.Mani said...
Feb. 8, 2016 at 6:14 pm
Honestly love this poem and the feel of the poem
 
Jacob B said...
Feb. 8, 2016 at 5:51 pm
When was this published
 
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