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A Blind Ambition

By , Springfield, ME
From the time I was born I have been on the move. There was always some new place to travel, some new state to explore, perhaps a patch of slightly greener grass that existed on the other side of some imaginary fence continuously called for my parents attention. I've been up and down the east coast numerous times, experienced life out in the endless fields of the Mid-West, and have endured the scorching deserts of Arizona. It was a rare occurrence to live in one place for any longer than a year, but I guess that's just a consequence of being born into a family of modern nomads.

The earliest move that I can remember, which coincidentally is also my first memory, was our move from New Hampshire to Florida. I remember how the air grew hotter as we gained on our destination, how it became sticker as we neared the subtropics of the United States. As the miles passed by the scenery would continuously change, trees turned into towns, the towns would build into cities, and eventually the trees would reappear. Unfortunately my memory blurs soon after this first adventure. From family accounts I can guess that we lived there for about a year, though soon after that year had expired we were shipping back up the east coast to New Hampshire. Just a year of sun in the state of Florida had allowed me to forget the harsh chills of winter. Possibly due too that particularly cold season, we fled full charge to Arizona. We pitched a tent on the edge of the desert, just outside what appeared to me to be an uninhabitable plain, a wasteland with nothing to offer. Those scorching heats baked me, they tortured me, but they had given me much more than I could have ever known at that age. We didn't even last a year out west. I guess the blistering heat and desert sands just didn't appease my mother.

We made countless trips across this country, living in Nebraska, North Carolina, and Tennessee. My house was a mini-van and my family was never more than a few inches away. The places we lived were the equivalent of a lengthy stop on the side of the road to get out and stretch. My life consisted of nothing but constant movement, movement of which I didn't welcome. Truth is, though, that as a child I never understood nor questioned my parents motives, or why we had to move so much. I just assumed that it was for the best and reluctantly trudged on. Looking back on those numerous adventures, on all of the decisions that my parents made, I can only assume that they were looking for something. They were searching far and wide for a specific point to call home, for a place to raise their dream family, or maybe just an area in which they felt comfortable. I was born and raised on the road, right alongside my parents ambition for progress.

Just a year ago I was told that we were moving again. They were going back to Florida. Once more my parents felt the need to move, forward to them but backwards to me. I didn't go with them. It wasn't just the fact that I was only two years from graduating high school, or because I had finally made close friends, it was just time for me to make my own choices. Those winding streets the led me here had shaped me, molded me into who I am, and I could see that this next road wasn't for me. The boy that had once sat quietly in the back seat of the van had finally grown up. Each move had brought me spiraling closer and closer to the place that I now call home. Every passing car, every illuminated road sign marked my progression to where I am as of now, but all of this physical movement had finally subsided, allowing me to create an ambition instead for education. I didn't go because I knew that I was already where I needed to be. It doesn't always take physical movement to progress. By remaining here I was able to move forward on my own accord.

Now it's time for me to start my own adventure, and I am ready. In fact I'm excited. My parents may have flown blindly into the dark in hopes of finding that perfect home, but they have shown me what true ambition is, and I am driven to make my way in this world. I have gathered all that I can from my current surroundings. I have ingested every morsel of knowledge that I can obtain from this place. I need a change in scenery, a new challenge. I need a new experience, but unlike my parents, I know what I'm looking for and it's only through my own initiatives that I will truly find my way.





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