7:00am at the latest I leave Northford, CT, where I live to drive thirty to forty minutes to school. Every school morning my loving Dad and stepmom, wake me up. I struggle through the haze of sleepiness to shower, dress, and eat Breakfast at six in the morning, instead of ten minutes before the bell rings like most of my classmates, and then I’m off to school. During the forty minute drive,I have time to think all alone driving down the highway. Music only entertains me for a short while before I turn it down, and my mind starts to wander. I think about many things during this adventure to school that I embark on every day, such as the homework and what the purpose of it was, or even insignificant things about friends like funny comments Celena made that day and how she thought of them. I watch people passing on the highway and think of what they might be going to do and even what they’ve done. Either I pass them or they pass me but everyones different. Some scratch their noses while intently watching the road and some stare back. An old man and his wife going out to a late breakfast, atleast to them, or a middle aged man seeming stressed and rushed with two kids in back most likely going to daycare. However, I always end up reflecting upon what I’ve done. I try to come up with a list of good things I have done in my life and what impact I’ve made on others. Trying to stay positive I ignore the mistakes I’ve made. Too many times have I spent sitting alone and silent thinking about the things I could have done better or not done at all and let them bog down my mind and keep me from bettering myself. I’ve never had a dream of what I wanted to do or really of what I will do until now this senior year of high school. I’ve come up with a lot of answers but none really seem too impressive so I try harder and harder all the time. I try to excel during the day and once again reflect on the ride home. of what I did that day and if it brought me any closer to that impressive answer I’m looking for and still to this day I don’t have much to say that I feel would interest anyone besides myself or my family. However I think I’ve found a reason for that. I don’t think anyone really knows how to answer that question until their life is really over; Sort of in the sense that your life flashes in front of your eyes before you die but in a more realistic sense. I think that I can’t answer that question because I’ve only lived a fraction of my life and still have time to come up with an answer that fits my liking. I’m not sure if everyone thinks the same things I do and have pondered this as well but I think it’s meant to happen. Every once in a while you need to step back and look at what you have and sort of find the flaws and take time to make them better. I think about this every day before school and it makes me try that much harder everyday to add to my final answer or speech about my life and what I’ve done. I know I still have a lot of time to excel and become the best I can through expanding my education through college, start a family, get my first career and so on. Even if I don’t know quite what I would like to do yet, I think attending a liberal arts school would give me the options and choices I need to really find what I like and can succeed in. The point is I can tell you who I am now, but there would be so much left out that has yet to happen. This is only the beginning to my life and I want to make the best out of it so every day. I take that forty minutes that I drive before and after school to look at myself and who I am and how I can make that ride a little bit more pleasant by adding more good everyday and put a smile on my face knowing I’m happy with myself and that not only I can live with that, but I can make it even better.
October 28, 2009