The pressure is off. I am finally finished. I have already been accepted into college, I have finished my midterms and second semester has begun. Senior Year has flown by. It figures that my last year at home, my last year in secondary school would be the one to go the fastest. In a way I am kidding myself when I think that the pressure is off because I still have to do well in school, not that it is required of me, but I have to do it for myself. I still have APs and finals and, of course graduation. My dream of an easy senior year ended the day I chose the hardest senior schedule known to mankind. Maybe if I had listened to my friends when they said to drop a course or two, I would be having a less stressful year, but no, I was stubborn. Not only am I having a stress-filled senior year, I have to sit and watch my friends having the time of their life because they are taking the courses I only wish I took.
I know in my heart that in the end I will come out a better person for putting myself through those endless hours of needless studying when I was already in college, but I will still feel that I missed out on one part of my senior year. I have never known what it feels like to take a class just for the sake of filling up space in my schedule. I will never know what it feels like to be able to watch hours of TV every night. Oh, the pain I have endured, slaving over the computer night after night while everyone else is enjoying their free time. Yes, I will have more worthwhile credits and I will have actually learned something, but still I feel as if I have been cheated out of something.
But this time next year, I will be doing the same exact thing I am doing now. Stressing out over my schoolwork. Except next year it will probably be a bit more difficult. So, in a way it is to my advantage that I continue working as I have always done, because when next year rolls around, I will be prepared. But in reality, what would have been so bad if I could have seen even one episode of 90210 and been able to remember who was dating whom, and not have to worry about who conquered the Ottoman Empire at 7:30 in the morning. v
This piece has been published in Teen Ink’s monthly print magazine.