As I have been packing my large suitcases I have had time to think- about my past, my future, and the present. For the past four years I have been counting down the days to graduate the hellhole called high school. I was over the drama, lies, boys, and girls… basically everything. The immaturity was intolerable. I could not handle being in that environment. Once I became a senior in high school all these thoughts swarmed my mind. Was I ready for college? Have I taken all the courses I needed to? Am I really old enough? It felt like yesterday I was a freshman, scared of the upperclassmen but secretly wishing I was them. I would look in my mirror and say ‘I am too young to be a senior, to be applying to colleges.’ The funny thing is, I look like I am about to graduate from college…. Senior year flew by and that was something that made me even more ecstatic to go away to college. Mid senior year I changed my mind about staying in the sunny Southern California, I wanted out. Now that my time to depart is quickly coming, I thought, ‘maybe I’m not ready to leave home.’ But, then again, what’s life without growth and experience? I mean how can I grow when I live in a bubble? How can I make a life for myself if I never leave? Recently I have taken back that thought. All my clothes I packed hold memories of home. I am, figuratively, not leaving home. I am not moving. I am expanding into the world and see what it has in store. So as I pack the last pairs of jeans and my waterproof jackets I am growing up. As fun as it seems to be older when you are younger, once you get to the point when you have to, it’s scary. What is there to fear, but fear itself, right? So it is coming to the last few days I will be spending in California, then I am moving into the green, to Oregon. Where a new world is waiting for me, a new life.
A new breath in new air
September 16, 2010