TeenInk "I'm a firm believer in Karma." - Emma Watson in Sofia Coppola's The Bling Ring featured at Cannes Film Festival... http://t.co/AtwVoR8xyT
Wed May 15, 2013 1:13pm Reply Retweet Favorite
TeenInk "If I fall asleep with a pen in my hand, don't remove it — I might be writing in my dreams." http://t.co/0FUP7fyJcB
Tue May 14, 2013 12:37pm Reply Retweet Favorite
TeenInk When is it time to kill off a character? http://t.co/xktQFGLRGx
Mon May 13, 2013 8:59am Reply Retweet Favorite
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Overall, I enjoyed your story; it was really tense and full of emotion.
I gave it a 4/5, however, because I felt there were a few too many grammatical errors. I don't know if any of these were pointed out, but I'll list a few that I saw. I'm not trying to troll or be obnoxious, I'm just trying to help. :)
There's an incomplete sentence. "As I sat on the school bus for the first time. ..." Try putting a comma in-between these two 'statements.'
I used to do this A LOT, but ... (more »)
The only comment I have is that you need more deatail to make it better and there are some grammer errors