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Up from the Dark: An epileptic girl's Struggle for her academics and voice

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kindergartan

Most of the time I don't remember having a seizure. But very few I could remember clearly. This one today still sends a shiver down my spine because this one was the scariest on yet. It was fall 2002 and I started kindergarten. I was exited to get to kindergarten. Every little kid who starts grade school feels like a “Big kid”. I did. Though my first day of grade school was the worst. As I sat on the school bus for the first time. Just within a few feet from the house something unexpected was just about to happen. Boom! I started to have a seizure. I was sitting with two girls. Suddenly my baby sitter's daughter screamed “Rachel is having a seizure! She's having a seizure! Stop the bus!” The bus screeched to a halt.
My baby sitter, my parents and paramedics all came to my aid. When all of those who came to help me gave the sign that everything was okay, the bus drove of like nothing ever happened. Those students who were on the bus fall of 2002 might not remember my seizure incident on the bus. As for me I still do. When I came in to my new school we all were wearing name tags with our names. With help of our new teachers we were able to find our new kindergarten classrooms with great ease. I met my new teachers Mrs. Cadman and Mrs. Meusea. Mrs. Cabman was short with dirty blond hair and hazelnut green eyes. And Mrs, Meusea was tall with short dirty blond hair as well and brown eyes.
My kindergarten year was not as great as I have expected. It was a 360° turn from what I really wanted. Whenever I started to seize some of my classmates would take quick action. Others had a different point of view about me. They taught I was “weird”. Some of them looked at me as if I was an alien from another planet. I hated those names that kids called me. Names like “Shakey monkey”. Not only that other names piled up on my shoulders. “Shaking zombie” was also one. Many others that I don't bare to name.
These names I was called in Kindergarten made me feel as if a knife just stabbed my heart. It was really painful for me. I was so hurt that I still hear the voices in my head of the kids that made fun of me. So kindergarten dreaded in great anguish. I started to get bad grades. I also started to hate school. Though did something I loved to do. I played a musical instrument. My mom, is a music teacher at an elementary school. So ever since four years I played the cello. What my peers called “The big violin”. My mom taught me with great work to make me a great cello player.
So from kindergarten to third grade I brought my cello to school to play for my peers. They thought I played wonderfully. When I was in my old school in Jackson, most of my peers didn't even know what Bb is on the keyboard. Of coarse I brought my cello to school to entertain them. Show my peers what I really like to do. Playing in front of my class is fun. It made me feel like I was “at the center of attention” I felt like a star then. On stage. In front of the chalk board of my classroom. The best part of kindergarten had to be finding my best friend Rachael.
Rachael was beautiful. Long silky black hair, and pale skin. Her black hair reached to the center of her back. She was a great friend I ever had. We shared secretes together and often helped one another in conflicts we couldn't bare to do on our own. Rachael was mostly their when I languished in pain of bullying. Which most happened in kindergarten. The biggest target were the third fourth and fifth grade boys. All they did was laugh and point fingers at me.
When that would happen I would sit there with water in my eyes, not crying. I was just hurt. If only I had a super power than that would shoot them away from me I would be so gratefully happy. Everyday of kindergarten that I was bullied the more I started to dream. I would become oblivious to the world around me. When I would day dream night mares often it showed intricate woven spider webs, and dark places everywhere. I'd picture myself there. Hearing things like “Your worth nothing!” “Who do you think you are?” “Why are you so weird.” I was often terrified by these monstrous dreams. This mostly had to happen because of all that was going on at school.
When I would dream beautiful day dreams. They were often in ginormous meadows with blooming daises, petunias, magnolias, sunflowers, almost ever flower on the planet, everywhere in the meadow. Bees buzzing a melody while gathering pollen for their sweet honey. Humming birds, Robbins many birds chirping happily. butterflies, Rainbow arches creating bridges around the meadow, I saw myself barefoot rubbing my feet against the grass covered in morning dew. Running happily with my eyes closed, as the smell of flowers ran up inside my nose. The sun drizzled on my hair and warmed up my skin.
I loved nature and animals. Mostly the sounds. Any sound. Waves crashing against the black rocks of the ocean. Oh how I loved the sea. I would also imagine night fall, my bare legs two inches from the water. As the waves crashed my eyes closed smelling the sea salt air, and wind fanning my hair. The oceans waves creating a blanket on my feet. I always wished that only two seasons would repeat without fall and winter. It would be spring, summer, spring, summer. I love the fall for it's rainbow of leaves and winter for it's glittering snow. I mostly enjoy hearing nature awake during the spring and summer.
I did not only dream, I also wrote poems. I was not a big writer as I am today. But I loved to write small poems about my feelings. Below is a poem from kindergarten that I found, but then lost again. I read it so much that I remember it's words.

Spring
Sunny days
Perfect days
Rainy days
Icky days
Nice days
Green days

Today I'd laugh at that poem. And instead of writing an acrostic poem I'd write a free verse that goes like this.
Spring
April showers bring May flowers,
March winds bring birds in,
Honey bees make honey last,
Flowers bring happiness,
And then when spring finally comes,
Nature whole comes to sing along.

Just as much I loved to write poems then I still do now. Of coarse I write lots of other things then just poetry. Of coarse I savor the voices of many poets of the past. Like Emily Dickens, Robert Frost, and Edger Allan Poe. I often did what I did in Kindergarten when I was bullied. I often got frustrated wondering why I was bullied.
Poetry was one way to take my mind of what was going on at elementary school at the later days of kindergarten. The funniest day of kindergarten had to be during the winter. The day was dismal. Rainy and cloudy as clouds squeezed out rain like a sponge. We all had to write a poem about what we like to do. I did two things in one poem. I remember that line and I laugh hysterically. It was a line about the poem thought. “I like the poem of writing.” I mean in my perspective it doesn’t make any sense to me at all now that I am in eighth grade.
As kindergarten year came to the end and the last bell of the year rang. We all scrambled out of the building like a bunch of animals in a stampede. The entire school had to vibrate from all the students running out into the summer sun hoping for a great summer. Two and a half months of no homework, teachers, pencils and pens, and of coarse work. Staying up late. Going outside for hours and hours, and splashing at the pool.
I was hoping for a great new year next year. I was starting first grade at a new school with hopes high that there will be kids that will understand my epilepsy. Great things will happen. And wonderful memories will be with me for many years to come. Somethings happened great. Others didn't last so great.
First grade would go fast. There was one thing that made my face brighten in first grade. Right before my brain surgery. Something that I remember eight years later.
Chapters:   « Previous 1 2 3 4 Next »


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This book has 65 comments. Post your own!

GoldRose said...
Jun. 4, 2012 at 9:00 am:
I think that this book was a really well written and great book! You did a good job writing this book.
 
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manda315 said...
Jan. 2, 2012 at 10:14 am:
the book was very good. your emotions really spoke in every word :)
 
GoldRose replied...
Jun. 4, 2012 at 9:01 am :
I know that , she did a really good job.
 
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Mystiecub said...
Nov. 2, 2011 at 4:48 pm:

Overall, I enjoyed your story; it was really tense and full of emotion.

I gave it a 4/5, however, because I felt there were a few too many grammatical errors. I don't know if any of these were pointed out, but I'll list a few that I saw. I'm not trying to troll or be obnoxious, I'm just trying to help. :)

There's an incomplete sentence. "As I sat on the school bus for the first time. ..." Try putting a comma in-between these two 'statements.'

I used to do this A LOT, but ... (more »)

 
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quton97 said...
Sept. 8, 2011 at 7:35 pm:
I really like your book. And your message not to give up. :)
 
writinglikecrazy replied...
Sept. 8, 2011 at 7:36 pm :
thanks for getting my message. 
 
bladeboy12 replied...
Oct. 28, 2011 at 11:28 am :
ive never read that book but if i did i am pretty sure i would like it.
 
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anna19974h said...
Aug. 2, 2011 at 10:26 pm:
I loved this book soooo much! Your write with such fluidity and emotion! I could really feel what you were going through. I love it and I would love to see ytou add more chapters :) there are a few grammar errors though. Keep writing :)
 
writinglikecrazy replied...
Aug. 4, 2011 at 7:52 pm :
thanks anna
 
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NeverGrowUp said...
Aug. 1, 2011 at 11:22 am:
I really liked the flow of the words, maybe if you could include more detail we could really picture the scene clearly:)
 
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writinglikecrazy said...
Jul. 23, 2011 at 9:57 am:
Thanks I'll check over to make sure
 
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writinglikecrazy said...
Jul. 23, 2011 at 9:56 am:
Thanks for what you told me to imorove on
 
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sunnysky said...
Jul. 23, 2011 at 9:55 am:
I really enjoyed reading your book read it twice.
 
writinglikecrazy replied...
Jul. 23, 2011 at 9:56 am :
Thankyou for your comment
 
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geifons said...
Jul. 23, 2011 at 9:54 am:

The only comment I have is that you need more deatail to make it better  and there are some grammer errors

 

 
writinglikecrazy replied...
Jul. 23, 2011 at 9:57 am :
Thanks i will check for it
 
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wakoguy said...
Jul. 23, 2011 at 9:52 am:
At first it was a little on the boring side. But when I went to the second and third chapter it became very catchy.
 
anonymous replied...
Jul. 23, 2011 at 9:53 am :
i really like the way you wrote your book!
 
writinglikecrazy replied...
Jul. 23, 2011 at 9:58 am :
I'll remake the start to make it better
 
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Jessebil said...
Jul. 23, 2011 at 9:50 am:
I really like your story!
 
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