TeenInk How would you rearrange this old cliche? "You can catch more flies with honey than with vinegar" http://t.co/xTNZxcKYxK
Fri May 24, 2013 10:17am Reply Retweet Favorite
TeenInk "Thinking is the best way to travel." - The Moody Blues http://t.co/5jzE5kVJyB
Thu May 23, 2013 10:55am Reply Retweet Favorite
TeenInk If this is the ending of the story, what is the beginning? http://t.co/gRzPosYXRi
Wed May 22, 2013 8:48am Reply Retweet Favorite
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Overall, I enjoyed your story; it was really tense and full of emotion.
I gave it a 4/5, however, because I felt there were a few too many grammatical errors. I don't know if any of these were pointed out, but I'll list a few that I saw. I'm not trying to troll or be obnoxious, I'm just trying to help. :)
There's an incomplete sentence. "As I sat on the school bus for the first time. ..." Try putting a comma in-between these two 'statements.'
I used to do this A LOT, but ... (more »)
The only comment I have is that you need more deatail to make it better and there are some grammer errors