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Kiss This: Part 1

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Author's note: I really wanted to share my story and teach others the misconceptions they go through in their...  Show full author's note »
Author's note: I really wanted to share my story and teach others the misconceptions they go through in their daily lives. The education in schools is unfair with officials and students bullying children. That's when it's important to know how much the lives around you contribute to what you think and feel. It's when you need to feel accepted but can't even appreciate the good things you do, yourself.  « Hide author's note
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The Feels

Although I’d like to say that rebelling is fun, which it kind of is, there’s more to it than that. I may have missed a few parts by telling you details into my education, but there’s much more. Let’s start from where I started fresh in 7th grade.
Home life here wasn’t as easy as I’d thought it to be. When people started making fun of the way that I dressed, I went to my sister because, so far, she’d had two years in high school, and a wicked fashion sense. Of course, I didn’t go directly to her, I went to her room. At the time, I thought it was a good idea. But by the time she found out, it had become a habit, and it made her furious. I don’t know why, but it didn’t really affect me. I mean…I cared about my sister and what she thought, I just never thought this would happen. I don’t know.
The worst part was when picture day came. She thought I was wearing her leggings, so she tore my room apart; and I had to clean it up. She would threaten me, she would attempt to beat me up; it was bad. But I continued with taking clothes. At first, I fit them, and then, as I became more insecure, I gained a lot of weight, and I would stretch out her clothes. I guess I kind of felt bad; seeing her pretty clothes that looked so good on her, get ruined, but I just didn’t feel anything. This continued on for about two more school years.

Life at home wasn’t just miserable in this sense, I also began fighting with my mom and dad. I threw temper tantrums if I didn’t get my way, I had my phone taken away for years, and I don’t know why, but this affected Isabella. I guess that started when I got OSS from school for a really bad reason. I lost a lot of friends for that reason, and, especially, trust. But I’ll tell you about that later.
Sibling rivalry, I hear, is healthy. I became really depressed. I didn’t want to go home sometimes. And sometimes, I compensated this for making relationships for myself (AKA, bf/gf). My first “relationship” was a flirtationship between me and a guy I’ve never met; Alex Wall. Nothing special about his name, and nothing special about his game, either. I guess the only thing keeping us together was the sneakiness of it. Eventually, flirting became a much bigger problem for my parents to handle because suddenly, our innocence was in risk. We began a promiscuous relationship, and throughout it, I realized it was a big problem. I’ve had multiple opportunities to redevelop my trust with my parents, but instead, I’ve had multiple opportunities to have a phone taken away. And, sorry Alex, but you weren’t the only one I did this to.
I think I was at a time of mental maturity, because then I met Oliver and Andrei. They were stepbrothers. Cute stepbrothers. Oliver was already in a relationship by the time I actually wanted one with him. So then, I went out with Andrei. I can’t tell whether I actually liked him or not, or whether I was just using him, but I did end up having my first kiss with him. It wasn’t…what I expected. It was both of ours, so it was pretty messy. Andrei and I ended roughly around three and a half months. Mostly because I was falling for Oliver behind his back, and Oliver was falling for me too. So, I did what most girls would do: cry after I broke up with him. Not so smooth. It was a week after Christmas.
After Andrei, it wasn’t Oliver. My next, actual, relationship was in eighth grade where I met a boy named James Dearnley at my friend Madison’s birthday party. James and I clicked. And I mean, CLICKED. One boy before Patrick, this was THE ONE I LOVED. We bonded over Star Wars, music, friends, interests, EVERYTHING. Plus, HE WAS HOT. He was also a grade below me from being held back and kicked out of school for punching his principal in the face. The part that I loved the most of, was his family. And they loved me back. Not his sister though. Grace was a mean girl. Mean to her friends, mean to James, and rude. I knew she was bad news. I mean, it takes a b**** to know a b****.
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