Kiss This: Part 1
Author's note: I really wanted to share my story and teach others the misconceptions they go through in their... Show full author's note »
Dirty Little SecretThe previous year really foreshadowed the next year. This year, my 8th grade year, I planned to become more involved. Especially since it was the year that we could finally try out for high school sports. Unlike most public high schools, sailing isn't usually a sport available, but at Smithfield High, it was. This was my door of opportunity.
I was introduced to the sport the summer of my 5th grade year by my mom. She had recently joined a sailing group in Hampton where she met some really cool people including her boyfriend at the time, Dave. When I had finally became fully obsessed, she'd bought me a specialized life jacket, gloves, boots, and wetsuits. And with that, I made my best effort to fit in But I didn't have to! I felt so free.
I joined the sailing team that year. I was put on JV and backup Varsity. I had the time of my life. But when I wasn't on the water, people didn’t stop bullying me. They made fun of me because I was the only 8th grader on the sailing team and constantly told me that sailing wasn't a sport. Well I showed them! Soon enough, I had Melissa, one of the most prettiest girls and athletic girls, ask me if she could try out for the spring season. I, being naïve and too nice, gave her the whole printout of VISA’s handbook. She didn't try out. I was a freak again.
But 8th grade treated me well. I was happy and made new friends. I graduated middle school with almost all A’s and B’s. I even met the first love of my life. Or so I thought. I met Patrick through a band friend later in the year. At first sight, he wasn't exactly my type. But instead of stopping at that, I looked past his imperfections, and I actually started to like him. And after a month or so, I fell into a trap that I loved him. I believed I did.
I had him over once. I told my mom his name was Zach because I was scared of telling her the truth. When he came over, my mom was confused; his mom was confused. It was kind of embarrassing. When he got to my house, we went for a walk to avoid the awkwardness. I don't remember what was originally planned, or what we were doing, because we somehow ended up at my dad’s house. My dad wasn't home that day, so I guess you could say that I snuck a boy into my house. Things got…steamy. So much in fact that after we left my dad’s we went to Food Lion (which happened to be down the street) to buy condoms. Sorry, mom and dad if you're reading this!
We had eventually headed back to my mom’s house for dinner. We had to pretend that NOTHING was going on. It was so miserable. He and I didn't eat because we headed to the neighborhood’s playground, and made out. He gave one of the condoms to me for when I would see him next time.
So, 8th grade was a hot mess. People stopped judging me at the end of the year because I was dating a guy a grade above me that could probably hurt them if they said something. So instead of talking s*** about me, they were talking s*** about him to me. I never believed any of it. I was just… cautious? Not cautious enough? I lost my virginity the next time I saw him. It was the last day of school. We did it in a YMCA family bathroom. My mom was in the lobby looking for me frantically while the hall cameras caught us, one by one, leaving the same bathroom. I had to lie to my mom. That’s where my story starts.