Common Sense 101
I filled out the deposit slip and walked over to deposit my paycheck in the bank, as I did every Thursday. The perky teller with her cherry-red sweater and beaded necklace asked for my account number. Suddenly I heard one bank officer ask "Kathy, how do you spell quickly?" Since Kathy didn't know, she decided to ask another person. In a matter of minutes, four supposedly educated adults were gathered, trying to sound out a word an elementary school student could spell. I was appalled that adults in the workplace could not accomplish such a simple task.
These people are qualified to give out loans, but I don't know if I trust an illiterate to decide whether I should get a mortgage and a house. It's enough to make me rethink our entire education system. We need to start teaching the important things in school instead of meaningless facts about gas laws and bonding. We need to be able to balance checkbooks, not equations. We need to learn how to use a computer's spell-check; it was put there for a reason. Finally the four ladies thought they figured out the correct spelling of the word quickly - "quickely." Trying to stay calm, I walked out of the bank screaming "there's no "E."
I propose a class called Common Sense 101. This would teach how to find percentages so when you see a sale you can figure out the savings and whether the purchase really is a bargain. The class would also teach obvious necessities such as the phone number for 911 for those whose IQ is equal to their number of fingers. Spelling would be twenty percent of the final exam and a key factor to success in this course. Common, everyday words would be taught instead of complex, unnecessary words that no one uses. Special concentration would be placed on words like "quickly" and "common sense" because I'm sure the majority of students who would enroll couldn't even spell them. Homework would involve keeping a diary of stupid actions that occur throughout the day. Each class would begin by reviewing the journals from the previous night in an effort to avoid recurrences of senseless events. The enrollment for this class would be enormous because common sense isn't so common. ?
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