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Mary A., Fullerton, CA

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I stood in the store for an hour,
deciding:
do I want the black crew neck teeor
the red halter with low v-neck and rhinestones?

It was completelyunnecessary to try them on
four times.
But I did anyway.
And even whenthe brand-new 17-year-old cashier rang up the black shirt,
counted my change,and gave me a receipt,
I wanted the red one.

I'm flustered by manynumbers:
undergraduates, zeros about to fill up my dad's bank account,
thenumber of road signs that I'd pass on the way there
Trying to make thegrades,
thinking about the costs:
too high.

"It's just tooexpensive," said my dad.
Less isn't enough to me.
I want more
butit seems like less will have to do.

But the size, the cost, thelocation!
Perfect size, too much money.
Great cost, doesn't offer what Iwant.
Wrong size, too much money, too faraway.
Wrong?
What is right forme?

I wish I'd returned the black top,
but then,
my life would besimple.

This piece has also been published in Teen Ink's monthly magazine.

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