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Connie & Elena Dufner: The times change, and so does advice
By Connie & Elena Dufner
The Dallas Morning News - December, 2000
I think that if I had
brought home a book called Chicken Soup for the Preteen Soul when I was
12, I would not have been allowed to read it.
A book subtitled 101 Stories
of Changes, Choices and Growing Up for Kids Ages 9-13, with sections on
family, love, death and dying, would have been snatched out of my hands with the
comment, "You might get the wrong ideas from a book like this.''
Same with
Teen Ink, a collection of stories and poems written by and for teens and
published in the magazine by the same name. I would have been reminded how I
wasn't yet a teenager and these stories were too suggestive, whereupon I would
have fished the book out of its hiding place, placed it inside another book and
read it by flashlight at night.
Maybe it happened in other families, but in
mine we just didn't acknowledge the mysteries and struggles of growing up,
especially not in books or on TV. Reading material was filtered. Bedtime was
structured to avoid impressionable television (That Girl and The Mary
Tyler Moore Show).
That kind of censorship would be considered positively
Neanderthal among the parents of my generation. We the Spock-and-Leach-quoting
parents. We who expect as a God-given right that there will be a new book, talk
show or Web site to answer questions instantly that we had to get up the nerve to
ask when we were growing up.
When it comes to appropriate reading material for
preteens, these are the good old days. Here are a couple of new books released
this fall, reviewed here by Elena, that remind me, once again, just how
incredibly articulate children and young adults can be.
Chicken Soup for
the Preteen Soul,by Jack Canfield, Mark Victor Hansen, Patty Hansen and Irene
Dunlap ($12.95, Health Communications Inc.)
In guidance lessons in elementary
school, our school counselor would sometimes read stories to us from the
Chicken Soup books. I never really considered reading them myself,
figuring, "Hey! By the end of the year I'll know the whole book."
I was wrong.
When I read Chicken Soup for the Preteen Soul, a lot of the stories really
jumped out at me. I liked this book because it gave all kinds of encouragement.
For example, I read about a kid whose grandfather died in his sleep. The two were
a very close pair, and it devastated him. It made me cry, but what the kid said
helped me realize that he'd be OK. My opinion of this book is that it helps you
see something that you may not have realized, and the stories are truly amazing.
It shows me that there is always hope.
Teen Ink,
compiled by Stephanie H. Meyer and John Meyer ($12.95, Health
Communications Inc.) A collection of stories published in Teen Ink
magazine.
When my mom brought me this book, I flipped through it briefly and
read a couple of stories and poems. Later on, though, when I got to sit down and
read more of it I found more poems that really spoke to me. They had so much of
the person poured into them. After a particular poem about a girl and her
grandfather, I stopped. It was too much for me. Afterward I would keep going back
to page 162, and each time would cry less and less. These kids who helped write
this book told me to keep going. After all, there is nothing better than a little
boost from someone who shares your feelings.
I relate to these stories and
poems a lot, even though I didn't realize it at first. These kids have gone
through death, friendships that have gone down the drain and been pulled out
again, family fights and all the other stuff that comes with growing up. I deal
with a lot of that stuff, too.
I think it's super important that these kids
keep writing. And not just them – anyone. All the stories I've heard about
kids committing suicide; it's because they are depressed and have all of their
feelings locked up inside of them. Writing is my favorite way to express myself.
I have gotten some of my best ideas from friends, real life experiences and my
best interests.
My advice if you're not satisfied with the outcome is to try,
try and try again. Writing takes time. And besides, this is for you. That's what
I have to tell myself. If I don't like a poem or story, I just tell myself, Mom
doesn't have to like it, Dad doesn't have to like it, but I do. Just keep going.
Connie Dufner is House & Garden
editor for The Dallas Morning News. Elena is in seventh grade.
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About the Teen Ink book
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