I walked into my 5th grade geography class. The big unit test was today and I felt like how I did on every test I have ever taken…confident. I strode to my seat and there awaited the beige folders hiding everyones tests from each other. For some reason those beige folders gave me anxiety, probably because I only ever see them on the hardest days of school, testing. 

I grab my folder and set it up perfectly between the person next to me because aint no way they are going to steal my answers. Considering I have only ever gotten A’s on all my tests, assignments and quizzes, school was generally easy for me. 

The teacher passed out the test. Of course it was a packet, only increasing my stress level. I write my name on the top and begin the test. As I glanced through the questions I got a little nervous. This test felt different because it seemed as if there were two good answers for every question. I swallow the nervous lump in my throat and do the very best I can. I felt pretty good towards the end, just a few questions that I had faltered on. 

I rise from my seat, hold my head high, and walk to the teachers desk. I place my test down on the pile of papers and notice my first few questions do not line up with the test on the top of the pile. My stomach does somersaults but I can't just grab my test, change the answers, and set it back down. I walked back to my seat with an anxious feeling in my chest, praying the test I just saw had all the wrong answers and I was right. I couldn't have been more wrong.

Waiting for the tests to be finished and the teacher to be done grading was that worst part. I was continuously going through the questions in my head, second guessing myself with every question. Finally, the last student handed in their test and the teacher reluctantly graded, knowing that the class was patiently waiting for their results. 

Then, the words we were all waiting to hear, “Hey class, I have finished grading, I will begin to pass them out. When I call your name please come to my desk to grab your test.”

The first person is called, and I watch as her eyes find the letter grade that she received on the top of her paper. She sighs disappointingly, and trudges back to her seat. I get a little bit more nervous because this girl has only ever gotten A’s too, so why does she look so upset? It seems as if everyone has this reaction, of course some smile but most seem upset. 

Finally my name is called and I walk to the teachers desk with less confidence in my step. The teacher looks at me nervously. She seems just as scared as I am to receive my test, this can’t be good. 

She hands the test to me and my stomach plummets. I feel like I am hallucinating, never once have I ever seen this letter grade written on any of my assignments before, a C+. The + just makes it ten times worse. It is just trying to make an awful grade a little bit better. I walk back to my seat with tears already spilling out of my eyes. How could I have done so bad? 

Glancing around, I see everyone has mostly B’s and the occasional C’s. Now realizing I am towards the lowest score in the class only makes everything worse. The tears are now pouring down my face and some people try to comfort me because they have never seen me this way after a test. Obviously it does little effect and honestly makes everything somehow worse. 

The teacher announces to the class, “This was a lower average than I usually have but retakes are still not allowed.”

The class has no response. Does she even care? It's her fault we all did bad and she is not even taking any responsibility for it. At this point I am beyond upset and do everything I can to hold it together until school is over. When the bell rings and we are all dismissed, I have never ran faster to my moms car in my life. Right as I slam the car door shut my emotions take the best of me and I tell her everything. When I am done explaining I am so scared about what she will think of me. She is going to be so disappointed with me, I feel like I have failed her.

 But instead she says, “awe come here,” she reaches over and pulls me into an embrace. I am confused because I thought she was going to be upset. I was actually quite positive that she would be very disappointed in me but it was quite literally the opposite. 

“Let's go get ice cream,” she says, so I buckle in, take a deep breath, and move on.